PSL 01

[dial6forhorror]

They had averted the apocalypse.

Or, really, they had averted this apocalypse, which was experienced by Five, and which the Commission had been determined to see happen at the hands of Vanya.

Allison had bundled Vanya up in a cloud of cashmere and chanel and whisked her off to LA, unwilling to remain away from her daughter and even less willing to leave Vanya in the hands of any of her 'emotionally constipated, idiot brothers'.

Luther had wanted to go with them, but Allison only let him come on the understanding that he couldn't live with her and Vanya yet. He had betrayed Vanya terribly and that would take time to heal.

With Luther, Allison and Vanya gone, about ninety percent of the horrendous tension left with them. Ben was dead and couldn't feel anything, but even he had felt the constant tension of walking on eggshells.

And it left the four of them in the house.

Sir was dead (still) and hadn't bothered with trying to haunt Klaus (yay), which meant that there was no real reason to avoid the old house, aside from years of trauma and nightmares, which had never been enough to stop any of them doing anything.

Klaus moved back into his room. Diego moved back into his. Five moved into another room, well away from everyone else because he was trying to learn to how to be a person but it was a long, slow process and he needed space and quiet more than the rest of them.

Ben... was still dead.

But since they were doing this thing, Ben decided to start where his nightmares were oriented.

The cellar. Not Vanya's basement, but the old, converted cellar, where it was always cool and damp and there was no possibility of bringing down a building if They got out.

Which was why, some half an hour later, there was the terrifying, inhuman shrieking of the Horror having been unleashed. And, even more strangely, it was a scream that echoed as ripples through the spirit plane, ghosts fleeing and energy twisting, centred back down on that cellar.

Comments

[dial6forhorror]

"I can try and relax, or not think about my body, in," he hisses at the exploring tentacles. The one curling around his legs obeys, vanishes back under the sweater, but the one that's caught interest in Klaus ignores Ben entirely and Ben... is too tired to enforce his will over it.

Especially when all it does it curl around Klaus and pull them closer together. Ben whines slightly and threads his arms through the sleeves to reach out to Klaus, hands patting over him slowly, with growing surety. "I can touch you."

[substances]

"Oh, whoa, hello." Klaus sputters, looking down at the tentacle that's wrapping around his middle, tugging them closer together. Then Ben's hands are on his shoulders and chest and patting at them, and he comments that he can touch him.

"Yeah...yeah you can."

And then Klaus' hands come up and he puts them on the sides of Ben's face, slides his fingers back into his hair and laughs softly. It's real. Ben's skin is warm - not warm enough, but warmer than a dead person - and his hair feels soft and thick between his fingers. Klaus laughs again, shaking his head, and his eyes go glossy with tears. Shifting, he brings his feet under him for balance and reaches down, hooks his hands under Ben's thighs, does an experimental pull upward.

"I got a lot stronger in Nam. Come on, we gotta get out of here, and it looks like your little tentacle buddies want to help so uh...tally-ho?"

[dial6forhorror]

Around Klaus' waist and then up and over a shoulder and it becomes clear even to Ben that It is holding onto Klaus, carrying some of his weight.

Part of him would really rather that Klaus put his hands back on his face, through his hair, that he would pet and touch and Ben could remember what it was like to be touched by something other than his own arms hugging him. But Klaus wants him up and in a warm bath and so...

"If you think you can," he concedes. He's going to let Klaus carry him. If Klaus genuinely can.

[substances]

When Ben finally gives his permission, Klaus hooks his arms up under his thighs, shifts his weight and pulls Ben in closer, so Ben's whole front is pressed against his bare chest. With a little grunt of effort, he stands up, the muscles in his legs trembling. Ben is heavy, weighs nearly as much as Klaus does, but he grits his teeth and starts moving. Out of the cellar, step by step, feeling the tentacle curling around his shoulder to help take some of Ben's weight, and even if it's still taking it and putting it on Klaus' body, it's at least a little more balanced.

The stairs are harder, and halfway up he has to stop, kneeling down for a moment and panting, Ben essentially sitting on his thighs, straddling him. Tilting his head down, he rests it against Ben's shoulder for a moment, panting and catching his breath before he stands up again and makes it up the rest of the stairs, through the hallway and into the bathroom. Lifting one foot with what feels like monumental effort, he flips the lid of the toilet closed and puts Ben down on it, resting his arms on either side of Ben on the tank top and panting a few times.

"Wow, that was more exercise than I ever want to do again." He speaks with his voice a little broken, his breath coming fast and sharp, heart pounding, thighs and biceps burning, but then he lifts his head and grins at Ben, lifts one hand to gently poke against the tip of Ben's nose.

"Worth it."

[dial6forhorror]

Ben is intensely not okay with the way Klaus is breathing.

He wraps his legs around Klaus' waist, like he should, and he tries to get the tentacle to go away (it ignores him and keeps clinging to Klaus much like Ben wants to) and he holds onto Klaus' neck and shoulders and shakes in his brother's arms as he's carried.

When Klaus takes a break, leaning in against him, Ben squeezes him, hugs him and runs his fingers through Klaus's curls, smiling slightly as they wound and tugged on his fingers.

His seized and frozen body makes him less dead weight than he could be, but they're both relieved when they get to the bathroom and Klaus sets Ben's weight down. He leans in and his panted breath is hot on Ben's skin, even more so when he looks up and touches Ben's nose.

Despite everything, Ben smiles. The tentacle wrapped around Klaus squeezes with fond affection, that flattened tip giving a smaller squeeze like a clasped hand on the back of his neck. "This is the first time I've seen you standing between a guy's legs panting and it's because you've worn yourself in an entirely innocent way."

[substances]

"Oh wow, Ben, all this time together and I only find out now you're a voyeur?"

Klaus says it with a smirk and no small amount of sarcasm, teasing, with no real venom. Ben is solid and real and corporeal and there's a tentacle wrapped around his shoulders and giving him a neck massage and it's all so surreal. Beyond surreal. Ben had his fingers in Klaus' hair, and now he's hugging him, and smiling at him.

For a few minutes, he just sits there, squatted on the floor of the bathroom between his brother's knees, catching his breath, muscles trembling from exertion, overly warm while Ben's skin is still cool except where it touches Klaus. Then he starts moving to stand, carefully does his best to untangle from the tentacle that's wrapped around him, and manages to get to the tub. He doesn't set it too hot, not wanting to overwhelm Ben, but enough to bring his temperature up, hopefully enough to stave off the shock.

Then he's back over to Ben, carefully bunching up the sweater again and pulling it off over his brother's head, leaving him sitting there naked. For a moment, he considers, then tosses the sweater into the corner, and crouches in front of Ben again. Carefully, he brings his hands up and brushes his fingers against Ben's sides, reassuring him that he's solid and present with the touch.

"How you doing, Benny?"

[dial6forhorror]

Ben huffs softly at Klaus, closing his eyes again and focusing hard on making Them behave. He manages to get it to finally let go and retreat back, though there's a whispered grumble that rolls through his muscles when he does it.

If he were in a better state, he'd protest being stripped naked again, might feel shy, but he's seen the absolute worst of Klaus, laid bare and flaying himself open. But he just leans forward and then hears a tiny giggle escape him as Klaus strokes his side. "I'm not feeling as cold," he murmurs. "I don't know if that's me warming or going deeper into shock."

[substances]

The truth is, Klaus has no sense of modesty when it comes to Ben. Ben has been with him for so long, through all the worst things he's done and had done to him, through every high and low, Ben knows him better than anyone else. Sometimes it's infuriating, sometimes it's a relief, but it also means there's pretty much no secrets between them. Ben's nudity is one of the last things on his mind as he watches the tentacle retreat into the smooth skin of Ben's belly, hears the soft laugh when he touches Ben's side.

When Ben comments that he's feeling warmer, and isn't sure why, Klaus presses his hand against Ben's shoulder, his collarbone, and then his forehead, shaking his head.

"You still feel cold. Probably shock. Let's get you in the bath."

It's awkward, but he helps get Ben to his feet, stumbles both of them across the room to Klaus' favourite deep clawed tub, and helps lift Ben into the water. Reaching over the side, Klaus cups the warm water in his hands and scoops it over Ben's shoulders while the tub continues to fill.

[dial6forhorror]

Ben stands, legs shaking as he does so, but he manages the few steps to the bath and then into it.

And loses his breath. He gasps so hard it hurts and his stomach bulges, shapes visible and one escapes to grab the edge of the bath, as if to resist getting in.

"It's hot. This is hot, right?" Being dead and cool and numb and almost soothing. But this, this was- he's sure it's hot.

Then the trembling kicks back in as his body realises it's cold and needs to warm up. Warm over his shoulders and he makes another sound and actually physically pushes Them back towards his stomach.

[substances]

"It's warm..."

Klaus made the bath about half as warm as he usually does, but he knows that he usually has baths at skin-scalding temperatures with steam rising from the water, that leave his skin red. This is much milder, and when Ben gasps and says it's hot, he pauses. Ben starts shaking and instead of scooping more water over him, he starts gently rubbing at his shoulders and back, running tattooed palms against smooth golden-tan skin.

Klaus has no idea how it must feel for Ben right now, but it looks like it's overwhelming, everything too intense - but Ben had liked the touching earlier, so he does it again, hands moving over Ben's back in smooth even circles. After a few moments of that, he stands up, undoes the front of his leather pants and slides them off. Still wearing his briefs, he steps into the tub behind Ben and settles into the water, goes back to rubbing his back. For once, he's quiet.

[dial6forhorror]

The heat is completely overwhelming, even just a oft warmth, but it's what his body needs, to warm up and get functional. Survive the shock. It's easier when Klaus is touching him because it's more than just the overwhelming warmth. It's familiar, old memories and old comfort.

He looks as Klaus strips; he's seen Klaus naked so many times that it fails to have any real impact, but then Klaus is in with him and he leans back into the touch, hugging his thighs to his chest.

Then he leans back instead, to rest his back to Klaus' chest and slid down a bit more into the water. He's still trembling, but it's starting to ease off as the heat gets into him.

[substances]

Klaus lets the water run until it's almost spilling over the rim of the tub, and then turns it off, leans back as Ben rests against him and takes his weight. With Ben's back against his chest, he moves his hands to his shoulders, loops his arms around Ben's shoulders so he can run his hands over his upper chest and across his collarbones.

After a moment, he closes his eyes, lets his face rest against Ben's hair, inhaling and exhaling against it, and Ben has a scent. He can smell him, he smells just like he used to before he'd died, and Klaus hadn't really realized that he'd missed it until this moment.

They just sit that way, quiet and adjusting as Klaus feels his brother's trembling slowly subside, keeps running tattooed palms over his skin, reminding him that he's alive. That he can feel again, even if they don't know how it came to be.

"You ready for more heat?"

[dial6forhorror]

Slowly, Ben starts to actually relax. The trembling slow and eases to a stop. The hard tension in every muscle and tendon edges slowly towards 'not tense' and then into actual relaxation.

Lastly, he tips his head back onto Klaus's shoulder rolling a little to tuck his brow against his brother's neck and he can smell the water, and the lingering sweetness of pot that had been smoked in here so often that it's in the very walls and it's so familiar that he wants to cry.

"Maybe," he agrees softly. "Let me try..." He thinks about turning the hot tap on and one of Them responds, breaching the water to twist the hot water into running again before retreating.

[substances]

Klaus laughs softly when Ben agrees and one of the tentacles snakes out to turn on the tap water. Ben's face is pressed against his neck, and Klaus can feel his breath, and it's really starting to hit him, he's the one shaking now, even as he keeps touching Ben with trembling hands.

Another laugh, this one sounding a little manic.

"Ben...I can feel you breathing."

His voice is a little breathy, a little broken, and he closes his arms around Ben's shoulders to hug him from behind.

[dial6forhorror]

Ben's out of danger of shock, and so his instincts kick in. Klaus is starting to hyperventilate and will probably have a minor or major breakdown in a moment. So Ben twists in his arms and hugs him back, clings to him again because if his body remembers nothing else, it remembers how to hug Klaus, like they're the only things anchoring each other to reality and life.

He buries his face into Klaus' neck and hugs him tightly and there's water everywhere and it doesn't matter. His own breathing is a bit ragged, but he can feel their chests pressed together, skin on skin and firm, real person with each breath.

[substances]

Ben twists around in the bath and wraps his arms around him, presses his chest against Klaus' and he opens his arms, pulls Ben close against him, wraps his arms around him, both legs lifting up so his knees are pulled up protectively on either side of Ben's body. His fingers curl, he clings to his brother, digging fingertips into his skin, firm but not firm enough to hurt.

They're quiet for a long time, Klaus runs his hands against Ben's back, reassuring himself of his brother's solidness, his presence. He squeezes at the back of Ben's neck and slides his fingers into his hair, tugging at it gently, stroking it to the side. He hasn't touched someone like this since Dave, and for some reason that feeling gets stuck in his head, it's not the same because Ben is his brother, but parts of it feel the same. Arms around him, his fingers in someone's hair.

Then the tears start. He cries silently, chest heaving in little sobs, his eyes squeezing closed as he squeezes so hard he worries about squeezing the breath out of Ben, but he can't bring himself to let go.

[dial6forhorror]

To most people, for most people, it would be awkward.

Nestled between Klaus' legs, knees protectively tucked around him and arms hard with tensed muscles and fingers digging in, real and solid and needy, Ben just feels safe and real. Klaus is hurting, Ben knows when Klaus is hurting better than Klaus himself at times, and Klaus is maybe starting to feel the grief of his time jaunt, or relief at them finally being back together, able to hug and hold or maybe just everything at once and then some.

"I'm here," he whispers. "I'm right here." He car hear Klaus' heartbeat, loud and too fast and anxious. "I'm here, in the bath, and it's warm, and you're warm, and sort of bony, but you've always been bony and I can feel you combing my hair with your fingers." He can feel all these things.

[substances]

It's a lot of everything, overwhelming, and sometimes Klaus just doesn't understand his own feelings, doesn't understand why he feels things. There's been a lot of things in his life that he's shut down with drugs, things that he's never had a chance to process or deal with, and Ben's death is one of them, especially since Ben had always been with him since he died. It hadn't ever exactly felt real, in the midst of a life that feels like a fever dream, large swaths of it wiped out of his memory by alcohol and codeine and morphine and pot.

Somehow, now, in the bath, it's really hitting home how much he'd missed Ben, how much the loss of him had hurt, how much of a difference it had made when he died. It hits home that after Ben had died, Klaus hadn't been hugged for over a decade by someone who really cared about him.

There's something incredibly calming about the way Ben narrates what he's feeling to Klaus, because he could feel it, could feel his mind slipping into that place where he hears helicopters and smells gunpowder and feels the crushing grief of missing Dave so much he feels like his heart is going to explode. It's something Dave had done, on the battlefield, when things got really bad, reminding him where he was, what he was doing, how he felt, grounding him in reality.

Klaus chokes on a sob, curling his fingers into Ben's hair again.

"And you're alive. Fuck, Ben...I missed you."

[dial6forhorror]

Before he died and Ben can't even think about that right now, not without some sort of breakdown, Klaus and Ben were tactile. Ben was a bit more withdrawn by nature, because of the Horror and the ever present warnings that he, They, both were dangerous, that if he let them go without control, he would slaughter people.

Klaus has always been the exception to this (and isn't that just a blanket statement about Klaus really? Klaus is the exception to life) and even now, Ben's processing the fact that They came out and hugged Klaus, stroked him, were gentle with him in a way that Sir had said they couldn't be. That he's lying here, on Klaus, wrapped together in a way they never did in life but that just feels like an extension of that, like death hasn't interrupted their cuddling for over twelve years and this was just where that mission would have ended, Klaus washing Ben of the mess and shock.

He presses closer, harder, as if he could climb into Klaus and never let go from the inside, except he's moved through Klaus too often to want to actually not feel the resistance of skin and muscle and bone. The pull on his hair is briefly uncomfortable, a spike of sensation, of something almost pain after so long of nothing, but he bites back the urge to hiss and the shock passes. He doesn't want to give Klaus any suggestion that this isn't perfectly fine. It is. Discomforts and all.

He can't say he missed Klaus. Being dead, there's not a lot of... anything. Missing something is hard, because loss is just an abstract. But now he's not empty and hollow, he's painfully aware of not having had this.

There's a tentacle sliding around Klaus' waist, wriggling between the small of his back and the bath to encircle him and press Ben's body firmly against Klaus. The spade covers the point of Ben's shoulder.

"I don't want to ever let go," Ben whispers back, his acknowledgement of what Klaus said. "If I stop, I'm scared I won't be able to do it again."

[substances]

Ben is pushing against him, chest and belly and shoulders and thighs, all the length of his body. He can feel the tentacle slide out between them, curl around his back and pull him in closer, like some kind of fifth limb, and he can see the flattened spade at the end pressed against Ben's shoulder. It's weird, because he should probably be a little freaked out about that, but he isn't. The tentacles have been nothing but...well, polite, since Ben came back. Polite and gentle. Klaus hasn't ever seen them like that before, but he trusts Ben, and so he trusts that Ben can keep them under control, that they won't hurt him.

Instead of worrying about them, he focuses on touching Ben, one arm around his shoulders, the other still moving through his hair. Ben is shaking less, he's letting his weight rest against Klaus, and the water is nice and warm, and he just closes his eyes, his chest heaving once, twice, and then he's crying into Ben's hair, quiet and subdued, but unmistakable.

Ben says he doesn't ever want to let go because he's scared he won't be able to do it again, and Klaus nods, voiceless, agreeing, his fingers still moving shakily through Ben's hair.

[dial6forhorror]

It's almost, almost, like in life, when Ben was constantly hurting and upset and angry and lost, They had reacted in kind and now that Ben is calmer in his life and himself, They've reacted by calming down when They show up.

If anything, Their main interest in the last hour has been Klaus. Holding onto Klaus, not letting him get too far away. Ben can't bring himself to even think about it happening, because if this is it, he's taking everything he can from the moment.

Klaus is crying again, softly and not entirely like himself, but KlausAndBen have never been like Klaus or Ben, so it's okay. He even manages to let go with one hand enough to pet Klaus' ribs, stroking the skin and marvelling at the way it feels over bone. "This is good though. Nice."

[substances]

That would certainly make sense. The truth is, Klaus has never really interacted with Them that much in his life. When they were kids, Ben had always kept them caged up inside himself as much as possible, had hated bringing them out because they were violent and unpredictable. It seems like, now that Ben is back, he's got them under control more, or...gotten used to the idea of having them, letting them out.

Ben's hands feel good, moving over his skin like that, and god, it feels like it's been so long since he was touched like this, gentle and caring. Ben's fingers slide over his ribs, his fingertips feel soft and warm against his skin, and he sobs again, his chest heaving under Ben's hands. Ben is telling him this is good, and nice, and he nods into Ben's hair.

"It's...yeah...no one's touched...no one's hugged me like this since Dave."

It's tough to admit, even though he knows Ben already knows that.

[dial6forhorror]

"I'm sorry I'm not him." He knows that Dave meant everything to Klaus. When Klaus wouldn't get clean for anyone or anything, he wanted to do it for the chance to see Dave again. Just the chance.

But he can hug Klaus tight and touch him softly, stroke his skin gently and let one of Them mimic his hands, stroking Klaus's shoulder in a mimicry of human affection. Ben can press a closed mouth kiss to Klaus' collarbone and his brow into his neck and he can try and take the weight of Klaus's grief to let him mourn, because he doesn't know how to do anything actual useful.

[substances]

"Don't apologize for that."

It comes out before Klaus thinks about saying it. He just knows that he doesn't want Ben to kick himself for not being Dave. Dave was Dave. Ben is Ben. They're different people, they mean different things to him, they matter in different ways. Ben is the one here now with him, back from the dead and resting against him. Touching his skin, kissing his collarbone, pressing his face into his neck.

Turning his head, he presses a soft kiss into Ben's hair in return, exhaling softly.

"You're Ben. My Ben. I missed you."

Swallowing hard, he holds his breath and then exhales shakily, "How're you feeling? Any better?"

[dial6forhorror]

The statement of 'my Ben' has him hiccup his breath and squeeze again, the tentacles also squeezing like an all encompassing hug. He has the brief, possibly inappropriate urge to lick the water from Klaus' collarbone, from his own lips, but he swallows down on the urge and tucks himself in again. "I don't feel cold anymore. Or violently shaky like I did. I think the worst of the shock has passed?"

A tentacle snakes out to turn on the hot tap again, cracking the plug to let some of the water out, to be replaced with more heat. It then crept back to wrap around Klaus's leg, clinging to him.

"... are you okay?"

[substances]

Klaus can feel it and hear it, plain as day, the way Ben's voice hitches when he says 'my Ben' like that, and a second later the tentacles are squeezing around Klaus' body, holding him close while Ben presses his face into Klaus' collarbone. It's true, now that Klaus has actually thought about it - Ben is his, in a way. Ben had died, and he'd been dead now for almost as long as he'd been alive. The whole time he'd been dead, he'd belonged mostly to Klaus, Klaus had been the only one to see him, to talk to him, Klaus had been the one Ben nagged and teased and talked to and encouraged and protected.

Ben has been his for a long time now.

Closing his arms around Ben tighter, he pulls him in as Ben says how he's feeling, refills the hot water. He keeps sliding his fingers through Ben's hair, rubbing his shoulders, his eyes closed, and his chest still hitching with soft sobs.

"I'm fine, Ben, I just missed you. My Ben."

[dial6forhorror]

Ben has been Klaus' a lot longer than since his death. They had been bonded by having terrible powers that they didn't want, one tortured by a total inability to control it, the other by the knowledge that there was only control or mayhem and death for everything he loved. Then he had died and-

And Klaus was his everything. Still is. Maybe always will be. Ben knows he can't claim Klaus—Klaus belongs to no one but himself—but that's never overly worried him because he knows Klaus will always come back for him, because Klaus is all Ben has.

If he's crying, he's doing it silently and without noticing and the warmth of tears is easily lost to the heat of steam and water. It's far more important that Klaus is crying and hugging him like a teddy bear and wants him here. "I'm right here now," he promises. "I'm not leaving. I won't. You've got me."

[substances]

It really hits him then, hard and intense, how much he needs Ben in his life. The last decade or so while they've been together at all of Klaus' worst moments, he's relied on Ben in a way he doesn't really think of too often. When Ben says he's here now, that he's not leaving, that Klaus has him, he exhales shakily and nods, pressing his face into Ben's wet hair.

"Ben, are you okay?" he whispers, his voice soft, his hand moving against Ben's hair, down the back of his neck, across his shoulders. Tilting his head, he rests his cheek into Ben's hair and shifts a little, rocking just slightly.

"Do you...do you wanna come to my room? You can wear some of my clothes..."

[dial6forhorror]

"Have we ever been okay?" Ben isn't sure what okay would be like. He doesn't feel cold or like he's shaking apart. He feels a bit nauseous and light headed, but that's almost certainly the after effect of the shock, he remembers things like that from being alive. "I'm as okay as I'm going to be right now," he finally settles on. That seems honest without being worrying.

"Your room? Excuse you, our room. Half that room used to be mine." Yes, he would like to go to their room and put on clothes that aren't his black hoodie and jeans, that will smell like Klaus, or maybe like Diego is they end up having to steal something from him to fit Ben.

Finally, slowly, the desperate grip of the tentacles is loosening and relaxing.